- The nosy neighbor, the rude date of a friend, the overreaching in-law: these bastards are everywhere.
- Use this guide to help you respond to them without giving them the satisfaction of a real answer.
- Stunned silence is an effective tool to employ when asked an inappropriate question. A protracted silence can even offer the offender the opportunity to think better of their question and possibly revoke it.
- Another tactic you can take is to brush it off with a funny comment. A ridiculous question warrants a ridiculous answer. Example: If someone asks you when you’re planning on having a baby, you can reply that the storks are on strike.
- You can also use bridging messaging to redirect the conversation to more comfortable territory.
Responding to Nosy Bastards
|General Nosiness||Oh you! You know that I can’t talk about that!||General|
|General Nosiness||I could tell you but I’d have to kill you.||GeneralSmart Ass|
|General Nosiness||I’m discreet and loyal, which is why I can’t disclose that to you, but that means I also extend the same courtesy to you with the things you tell me.||General|
|General Nosiness||I rather not talk about that, if you don’t mind.||General|
|General Nosiness||Can we talk about something else?||General|
|General Nosiness||I’m not really in a place/in the mood to talk about that right now.||General|
|General Nosiness||I’m afraid that is too private to discuss.||General|
|General Nosiness||I’m not at liberty to say.||General|
|General Nosiness||I’m afraid I can’t share that information with you.||General|
|General Nosiness||I can’t believe you would ask me that!||General|
|General Nosiness||If you forgive me for not answering, I’ll forgive you for asking me that.|
|General Nosiness||Why do you think you need to know that?|
|When are you getting married?||I must confess that marriage has not been a priority for me so far. If something changes, I’ll be sure to let you know.||PersonalMarriageSmart Ass|
|How many job interviews have you had?||Fortunately, I haven’t had any interviews. You know how they interfere with my pursuit of the contemplative life.||WorkPersonalSmart Ass|
|How much money do you make?||Enough to get by, but I could use more. Is this your way of offering to buy dinner?||PersonalMoneySmart Ass|
|Are you still single? Are you dating someone? How’s your love life?||I’m still waiting for that one perfect serial killer.||DatingPersonalSmart Ass|
|Have you lost weight?||Why? Did someone find some?||WeightPersonalAppearanceSmart Ass|
|Is that gray in your hair? Are you thinking of coloring your grays?||Oh no, that’s not gray hair. I’ve been painting the ceiling and I just can’t get it out.||AppearancePersonalSmart Ass|
|How old are you?||Do you mean how old am I claiming to be today?||Smart Ass|
|How old do you think I am?||I don’t know – let me look at your teeth.||Smart Ass|