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How to accept a job offer
Thank you so much for this opportunity!I look forward to working with you and meeting the rest of the team.I’m excited to geek out with you guys on all the great work we can do. See also:
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How to ask for feedback
“To become more effective and fulfilled at work, people need a keen understanding of their impact on others and the extent to which they achieve their goals in their working relationships. Direct feedback is the most efficient way for them to gather this information and learn from it.”– Ed Batista “Criticism may not be agreeable, […]
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How to ask for participation in a survey
Talking Points Email – Encourage Customers to Participate (Personal Reach-out) 👋🏼 Dear <NAME>, I’m writing to encourage you to participate in our latest Customer Experience Survey. You received an invitation to participate in our survey on <DATE>, and it would mean the world to us if you took five minutes to provide your feedback. We […]
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How to disagree (respectfully) with your boss’s feedback
One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is not to automatically accept everyone’s feedback. People will always have opinions and unsolicited feedback to share with you. Even with all the best intentions in the world, someone can lack the context or expertise to give you good advice. You would be surprised how many […]
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How to give feedback
Use this guide whenever you need to give feedback to someone. The performance reviews list below is a great source of inspiration for highlighting performance and personality specifics. “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” – Frank A. Clark Start Here See also: Talking Points Sources: […]
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How to thank someone for their time
“Thank you so much for your time earlier today.” “I know you’re extremely busy, and I truly appreciate you sharing your time and perspective with me.” “I am so grateful for your time.” Talking Points Name Tags Do you have to train to be so amazing? Because you are definitely the best friend anyone could […]
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How to thank someone for being there
Name Tags Multi-select Do you have to train to be so amazing? Because you are definitely the best friend anyone could ask for! Compliment Quirky Friend Have a drink on me. Quirky General How did I get so lucky? I’m so grateful you choose to be with me. Love Partner How did you become so […]
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How to thank someone for a service or kindness
Start Here Talking Points A Big Freaking List of “Thank You”s Name Tags Multi-select Do you have to train to be so amazing? Because you are definitely the best friend anyone could ask for! Compliment Quirky Friend Have a drink on me. Quirky General How did I get so lucky? I’m so grateful you choose […]
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How to thank someone for a recommendation
Always be sure to thank someone if they give you a recommendation. It’s an extremely lovely thing to do as they are putting their name and personal brand on the line for your benefit. All the risk is theirs, and all the benefit is yours. If you have any “home training” at all, you’ll remember […]
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How to thank someone for a donation
“Thank you for your generous gift.” “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” — Barbara De Angelis Congratulations! You find yourself in the enviable position of thanking someone for giving you (or something you care about) money. That’s pretty […]
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How to thank someone
See also: “[He was aware] of the value of the word of praise dropped at exactly the right moment; and he would have thought himself extremely stupid to withhold what cost him so little and was productive of such desirable results.” ― Georgette Heyer, Sylvester“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by […]
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How to say I love you (partner)
You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. — Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.— The White Company by Arthur Conan Doyle When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. […]
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How to confess your love
“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even […]
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How to recommend someone you don’t like or respect
Use this messaging if you find yourself in a position where someone you don’t like/respect is asking you to give them a recommendation. You can also use this guide if someone asks you about someone you don’t like. Here’s how to navigate those tricky scenarios. Start Here YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO GIVE ANYONE A […]
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How to recommend someone you don’t know
“I must refer you to himself for his character.” See also: Benjamin Franklin wrote the following recommendation from France for an acquaintance about to sail to America. Benjamin Franklin wrote the following recommendation from France for an acquaintance about to sail to America. Benjamin Franklin’s Letter of Recommendation Paris, April 2, 1777 Sir The Bearer […]
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How to make someone feel awkward about religion
From “Lifemanship: Or the Art of Getting Away With It Without Being An Absolute Plonk,” by Stephen Potter, 1950 Elsa: Are you coming to church with us?Moulton: Yes, why don’t you come to church for once, you old sinner? It is a little country church, and my host, Moulton, who has some claims to be […]
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How to make an ass of yourself
“But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.” — Dogberry in Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare Start Here Talking Points Different ways to say “I’m an ass” Name It’s not my place but… I probably shouldn’t say anything but… […]
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How to talk like a Southerner
“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays! How have you been?”“Lord, child, if I told you how I’ve been you’d smack the undertaker for sending me back.”“Sounds like you haven’t been sure whether you should scratch your watch or wind your butt. Some things never change.”“I tell you what, the only things […]
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Stuck at home? I got you, boo
Are you stuck at home for any of the following reasons? Feel better. Take care. There there. Take cover. Do the right thing. Aim for the head. Keep warm. Rest up. Hang in there. Save up. Breathe. Whatever the reason for your confinement, dear heart, we’ve got you covered with this mega list of things […]
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How to announce you’re leaving a job
Start Here 📢 We ALLLL daydream about that Jerry Maguire moment when we finally get to tell our boss where to go, hop onto the nearest desk, and scream at your colleagues: “WHOSE WITH ME??!!” But back here in the real world, it’s never a good idea to leave on bad terms (no matter how […]
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How to resign
When to know it’s time to resign Letter Example 🖊️ Dear <Name>, Please accept this letter as formal notification that I am resigning from my position as <title> at <company>. My last day will be <date>. Thank you for the opportunities for growth that you have provided me. I wish you and the company all […]
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How to call in sick
Start Here Talking Points Excerpt from A Guide to Calling in Sick, US News: What Your Boss Is Allowed to Ask Your boss’s natural reaction may be to ask what is wrong, but you are under no obligation to provide details of your illness. Many times, employers ask partly out of concern for your well-being […]
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Official Guide for Fighting with Your Partner
See also Start Here Fighting Rules 💡 Pro-tip: Instead of saying, “you did x,” try “the story I’m telling myself is…” This is an effective way to avoid putting words and thoughts into your partner’s head. Further Reading
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How to turn down a request to do free work
Your Aunt Carletta: Would you mind writing my book for me since you do that for a living and you’re good at that kind of stuff?You: No. Start Here Talking Points
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How to turn down a date
“I’d rather be aware of the ugly truth than have somebody be with me out of pity.” — Reddit User on r/DatingAdvice“Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: Why can’t you see who I truly am?” ― Shannon L. Alder“Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away […]
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How to thank someone for a gift
Name Tags Multi-select Do you have to train to be so amazing? Because you are definitely the best friend anyone could ask for! ComplimentQuirky Friend Have a drink on me. Quirky General How did I get so lucky? I’m so grateful you choose to be with me. Love Partner How did you become so wise? […]
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How to tell someone you are angry
“I’m upset right now and need a minute to calm down.”“I love you, but I’m angry with you right now.” See also Start Here Talking Points – I’m Mad Talking Points – I Need Space/Time to Think Further Reading
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How to tell someone they will not be your Bridesmaid, Groomsman, Maid of Honor or Best Man
Start Here ⚠️ This interaction should be done in person for the best results. Talking Points Common reasons/explanations Someone Else to Fill the Role Small Wedding No Maid of Honor/Best Man/Bridesmaids She is Going to Be Pregnant and You Don’t Want Her Belly in Your Wedding Photos 🤰🏽Dude. Listen, you shouldn’t bring up her pregnancy. […]
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How to set boundaries with a partner
“You’ve got to tell the world how to treat you. If the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble.” — James Baldwin See also Start Here Talking Points Boundary-Drawing Statements Name Tags <X> is a strong boundary that I’m not comfortable crossing, but <Y> is is something I […]
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How to respond to gaslighting
“Maybe that’s what you heard in your head, but it’s not what I said.”“You’re too sensitive.”“It’s not a big deal.” See also Start Here What does gaslighting feel like? (Source: The Psychology Group) What does gaslighting sound like? (Source: The Psychology Group) Talking Points Further Reading
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How to request an interview
Follow-Up Email to a Contact
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How to give someone a backhanded compliment
Backhanded Compliment – A compliment that implies it is not really a compliment at all. See also: Backhanded compliments sources: The Typeset A List of Backhanded Compliments Backhanded Compliment You look so much nicer than usual! You look comfortable. Oh what a lovely sweater. My grandma has one just like it. You’re so lucky you’re […]
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How to encourage someone to answer your question instead of saying, “I don’t know”
There are times in confrontations and confessions when the other person is unwilling to acknowledge an obvious truth. Some things are hard to say aloud. These talking points are not designed to interrogate or manipulate, they are designed to create a safe environment for everyone to be able to accept and be their full selves […]
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How to decline a request for money
“Can you loan me a hundred bucks?”“I’m really struggling financially. You’ve always been there for me. Can you give me enough to cover my rent?”“Is there any way you could spot me some cash? I don’t need much.”“My kid only needs a few more orders for her scout competition…” Very few things in life are […]
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How to complain to your waiter
“I’m afraid to tell you…”“I know this isn’t your fault, but…”“I’m sorry to say this but I was not satisfied with the veal. It was undercooked.” See also: Start Here Talking Points Further Reading
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How to call someone out respectfully
Start Here See also: Talking Points I wanted to take the time to reply to your email thoughtfully and with care as I know your heart and intentions are good. Many wonderful friends have loved me enough to coach me on tricky topics (like <topic>) so that I can see new perspectives and represent myself […]
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How to break up with your friend
See also Start Here Talking Points Further Reading I recommend reading Dr. Falconer’s book on this topic. I don’t agree with everything she suggests, but I think she covers many essential points for anyone who finds themselves in this situation: How to Break Up with Your Friends: Finding Meaning, Connection, and Boundaries in Modern Friendships […]
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How to break up with someone
Example Breakup Text – Before it’s Serious Example Breakup Text – Before it’s Serious Breakup After it Got Serious Further Reading
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How to ask your partner for couple’s therapy
“Behind every great relationship are difficult and uncomfortable conversations we rarely get to see. Great relationships don’t just fall into our laps. They require people to move through their fears and insecurities and do the hard work to move wounds into healing.” — Vienna Pharaon, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist See also Start Here Talking […]
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How to ask someone to stop talking about politics or religion around you
Countless holidays and relationships have been ruined over disregarded boundaries and the inability to express what we all want at the end of the day: harmony. See also Start Here Talking Points Further Reading
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How to ask someone about suspicious behavior without accusing them of it
See also Start Here Talking Points
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How to ask for the return of an object (loaned)
See also Talking Points
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How to ask for the return of an object (intentionally taken)
👉 Tips: Talking Points Further Reading
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How to ask for space
Start Here Talking Points Further Reading
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How to ask for a divorce
“This isn’t working for me anymore.”“I’m unhappy.”“It’s time we fight for our happiness.” Start Here Talking Points What to Discuss After the Initial Divorce Conversation After initially speaking with your spouse, you should plan on later discussing: Source: Love to Know Further Reading
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Comfort
A Big Freaking List of Comforting Statements Name Tags I see how upset you are, and I’m sorry to see you struggle. Acknowledgment You have every right to feel the way you do. Acknowledgment I can’t imagine how you must feel. Acknowledgment It’s okay to be sad. Acknowledgment Everything you feel is totally understandable. Acknowledgment […]
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How to respond when you think someone is overreacting
“Help me understand…” Start Here Talking Points Further Reading
😔Big List of Apologetic Statements
| Name | Tags |
|---|---|
| So I can understand the full extent of the issue/problem, could you please tell me a little more? | Listen to Understand |
| I want to make sure that I really have an understanding of what you’re telling me. I’m hearing that… | Listen to Understand |
| Thank you for alerting us to [ISSUE]. I recognize that this can’t have been an easy thing to deal with and I’m so sorry that this caused you to feel [insert expressed emotion]. | Acknowledge Concern |
| I’m sorry, I can see how [ISSUE] must have been frustrating for you. | Acknowledge Concern |
| I’m very sorry, I appreciate how difficult it must have been for you to deal with. | Acknowledge Concern |
| If I were in your situation, I would feel the same. | Acknowledge Concern |
| I’m sorry to hear that | Express Regret |
| We take pride in our high standards of service and we know that we did not meet your – or our own – expectations. | Acknowledge Concern |
| Please allow me to apologize for your experience | Express Regret |
| Thank you for giving us the opportunity to make this right. | Thank Them for Feedback/Patience |
| I appreciate you bringing this to our attention, so that we can deal with this immediately. | Thank Them for Feedback/Patience |
| I would feel the same in your situation, but we will sort this out… | Acknowledge ConcernOffer Reassurance |
| We deeply value your relationship, and we are committed to providing you with the highest level of service. Thank you in advance for your understanding and patience. | Thank Them for Feedback/Patience |
| Please know that we are doing everything in our power to make it right. | Offer Reassurance |
| We understand how frustrating this can be and please know we’re doing everything we can to make it right. | Acknowledge ConcernOffer Reassurance |
| You were absolutely right to bring this to my attention, so I can [insert action] | Offer Reassurance |
| I will try everything I can to resolve this by [date] | Offer Reassurance |
| As I look into this, I will [insert action]… | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| What I’m doing now to help you is [insert action] | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| What I’m currently doing to help you is… | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| This situation is difficult, but one solution that we could try is [insert solution] | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| Now that I’m aware of the situation, we can look to fix it by [insert solution] | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| If I were in your situation, I would feel the same. What I would try, and I suggest that we do too, is to [insert solution] | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| I will contact you as soon as I have an update | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| I will work on resolving the problem and will be in touch by [date] | Tell Them How You Will Fix it |
| I’m sorry that you’ve had this issue, but we have managed to [insert solution]. Now we have done that, our next steps are [insert next steps] | Tell Them How You Will Fix itExpress Regret |
| We recognize that this is not ideal, and we ask for your continued patience throughout this process. | Thank Them for Feedback/PatienceAcknowledge Concern |