How to encourage someone to answer your question instead of saying, “I don’t know”

There are times in confrontations and confessions when the other person is unwilling to acknowledge an obvious truth. Some things are hard to say aloud.

These talking points are not designed to interrogate or manipulate, they are designed to create a safe environment for everyone to be able to accept and be their full selves (the good, the bad, the ugly, the scared).

Further Reading

Read the full guide from Coach Emma-Louise Elsa:

💡 Simply use silence. Don’t respond at all and wait calmly for their answer.

Just because you answer doesn’t mean you need to do anything about it.
I feel that too sometimes. Take a moment and let me know when you’ve thought of something.
What if you secretly knew the answer?
So, what’s underneath the ‘I don’t know?’ What are you avoiding?
What is it like for you not to know?
How do you feel right now as you think about answering this question?
Hmmmm. Take a deep breath and just allow yourself to feel into the question for a second.
Use with caution and excellent rapport, “If I were to snap my fingers and you knew…” (snap fingers)
So, if [what they don’t know about] had a color/smell/taste/sound, what would it be?
OK, so what if you were to give me an approximate answer or a range?
Hmmmm. Let’s try something here. Take a deep breath and let your unconscious mind create the answer as a picture instead of trying to make it happen.

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