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• Don’t say, “I’m fine,” if you’re not.
• If you’re mad, that’s okay. Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion – it’s what you do with your feelings that matters.
• If someone upset you and you need to tell them, use this guide.

Talking Points – I’m Mad

• I’m mad.
• I’m angry.
• I’m upset.
• I’m furious.
• When you <behavior that upset you>, that made me feel <how it made you feel>.
• I understand that you didn’t think it would be a big deal, but I need you to understand how I feel right now.
• I love you, but I’m hurt by what happened.
• I’m hurting, but I still love you.
• I’m really upset by what happened and I want to talk to you about it.
• <Name>, I think we need to clear the air. Will you let me know when you’re up for it?
• What is your preferred location and time to have a much-needed, albeit tense, unpleasant, and emotional conversation?
• Listen, I’m still really upset about what happened. It’s going to be okay, but I still want to resolve it with you. Can you talk?

Talking Points – I Need Space/Time to Think

• Can we talk about this later after I’ve had time to gather my thoughts?
• I don’t have the energy to respond to you right now. I will respond when I can.
• I need space right now and will reach out when I’m ready.
• I need to calm down before we continue this conversation.
• Let’s continue this conversation when we’ve both had time to process.

Further Reading