“But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.”
— Dogberry in Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare
Start Here
- There are few things as fun as letting your asshole flag fly.
- Don’t miss 🤑How to ask your friends for money and How to give someone a backhanded compliment
Talking Points
Different ways to say “I’m an ass”
| Name |
|---|
| It’s not my place but… |
| I probably shouldn’t say anything but… |
| I’m sorry you took it that way. |
| I told you so. |
| You should have done… |
| It’s not you. It’s me. |
| Not to offend anyone but… |
| It’s all in your head. |
| You’re smarter than you look! |
| Your style is so brave. |
| I’d like a venti, mocha chocha latte, no sugar, extra pumps of vanilla, steamed 2% milk, in a grande cup with extra ice… |
| I’ve never heard of that school. |
| You look great for your age. |
| You look tired. |
| Why is this so hard for you? |
| Like I already said… |
| Good luck with that… |
| I’m your best friend, but you’re not my best friend. |
| I can’t believe you didn’t know that… |
| Have you looked in the mirror today? |
| Is that really what you’re wearing? |
| Don’t take it personally. |
| It’s not personal. |
| Someone should have told you… |
| Didn’t someone tell you that… |
| You should know better than that. |