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How to make an ass of yourself

How to make an ass of yourself

But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.”

Dogberry in Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

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  • There are few things as fun as letting your asshole flag fly.
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Talking Points

Different ways to say “I’m an ass”
It’s not my place but…
I probably shouldn’t say anything but…
I’m sorry you took it that way.
I told you so.
You should have done…
It’s not you. It’s me.
Not to offend anyone but…
It’s all in your head.
You’re smarter than you look!
Your style is so brave.
I’d like a venti, mocha chocha latte, no sugar, extra pumps of vanilla, steamed 2% milk, in a grande cup with extra ice…
I’ve never heard of that school.
You look great for your age.
You look tired.
Why is this so hard for you?
Like I already said…
Good luck with that…
I’m your best friend, but you’re not my best friend.
I can’t believe you didn’t know that…
Have you looked in the mirror today?
Is that really what you’re wearing?
Don’t take it personally.
It’s not personal.
Someone should have told you…
Didn’t someone tell you that…
You should know better than that.


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